Spazoid's 150!

Yes, that's right folks! Spazoid has hit his 150th post. And like Spazoid's 100th post, he's going to share with you, his gentle readers, all the sick and twisted google searches that somehow brought people to this site.

That's right. There are people more twisted than Spazoid out there. There are people that actually find this pretty fucking tame. Let's see what the google stats brought in, shall we? Here are ten of the most interesting and peculiar searches from the absolute dregs of human society.

1. Can you grind up poop.

Answer: Yes you can. Although poop doesn't really grind, it kind of smushes. Don't ask.

2. Dirty bum after I wipe

Answer: Then wipe again. And again. And again. And...well you get the picture. Or maybe you don't, since you had to google it. It's not rocket science. This is something you should very easily understand... if it's still dirty, you need to keep cleaning. I fear for the human race.

3. Lohan's Beaver.

Looking for a few STD's, hmmm?

4. Pills that make ur shit smell like roses.

Look... I don't know how to break this to you. Shit smells like shit. That's why it's shit. And that's why toilets come with a flusher. If your shit smells worse than normal, get a deodorant sprayer, or maybe start eating human food or something. You know, get a little more fiber in your diet?

5. Space condoms; space penis; space woody; space poo

Buddy, i'm pretty sure condoms, penis's, woody's, and poo would be ALL THE SAME. What, do you think being in a space shuttle changes the properties of you? Maybe you're thinking the lack of gravity will give you a bigger penis, therefor you'd need a bigger condom for your bigger woody? It's just like your big poo.... bullshit.

6. Starbucks is shit.

Preach on brother, preach on!

7. Stuffed pee holes

Are you serious? Obviously, you've never passed a stone. Otherwise, you'd understand that the pee hole is the most sacred of sacred out holes. In ten years, when I'm forty, I'll give up my ass virginity to make sure my prostate is OK. But NOTHING will EVER go up the pee hole, ever. And if you like that kind of shit, you sir, or madam, are a serious fucking weirdo. Even weirder than the guy who wanted to grind up his poo.

8. What is a faggot called in England?

I can't speak for the English, but i'm pretty sure it's 'faggot'.

9. What's a Spazoid.

I'm glad you asked! Have a look around my craptastic blog... you'll figure it out soon enough.

10. Vagina bags

I'm... stumped. So I googled it myself. What I found scared the crap out of me:
Maybe she keeps her bags up in that thing? Hell, she probably keeps a few matched sets of luggage up there! I know one thing that isn't going up there - penises. Really. Hell, if I stuck mine in there it would be followed by my hips, legs, body and head. Hey, at least I'd be warm for the winter!

Hey folks, thanks for reading my crappy blog. Hopefully, I'll be around for another 150 to keep my three readers entertained!

-Spazoid Out.

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If you liked the above, you might also like:

Spazoid's 100th Post
Disgusting Google Perverts
More disgusting Google Perverts

The Spazoid Friend Dedication

My blogging friend, Drowsey Monkey, being the totally cool chick that she is, has started doing friend dedications on her site.

This week, my Jinx and my Mitzi are the featured friends!

Click here and here to see the totally cool dedication Drowsey did to two of my closest buddies.

Thanks Drowsey!

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Stay tuned for part one of Spazoid's first attempt at a short story. If you like it i'll post part two. When I finish writing it.

Also, there may be a part three, four, five, and six. Or just a part two. I dunno.

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If you liked the above, you may also like:

First Video Post, and a Memorium
My dog is the cutest
Gone to the dogs
The talking dog
My dogs bum

Spazoid's 100th Post!

Well, this blog has made it to it's 100th post, and I have yet to lose interest. The frequency of posting has gotten less, but I'd like to think the quality is getting better - expertise comes with practice for most things, and that includes writing.

Not only that, but last week I made $1.01 in ad revenue! Do you know what that means? I actually get a little bit of traffic! It's made me think about my own domain name, and a more powerful blog program, like wordpress or similar.

Last week I signed myself up for Google analytics, and in honour of my 100th post, I think I'll share with you some of the funnier and more disgusting search terms that landed hits on my site.

For those that are not familiar with what I'm talking about, it's pages of mine that have come up in a google search after a certain phrase is typed in. Google links specific words and phrases with those mentioned in a page. It's some seriously funny stuff.

Do any of you remember my post on Dirty Fag Suckers? Here are some of the search terms that linked to it:
Fag Sucking
Addicted to Fags
Fags in Space
How to tell if someone is a fag

Obviously, there are some dirty and perverted people out there, and one bigot. I'm just wondering who wanted to know if there are fags in space? There's not a whole lot of astronauts out there, so you might just be able to find him!

My Boobarella post had some interesting results. I imagine that every one of them is a man. Or Tequila Mockingbird.
Boob Deficiencies Picture
Perfect Women's Boobs
Pointy and Puffy Nipples
Wrinkly Old Woman's Boob's Pics

I'm sure all of my regular readers know that I find poo humour funny. It should come as no surprise that my Poo Coffee post got a hit by some disgusting pervert searching for Japanese Poo Burger!

Some other interesting searches that got hits to Spazoid's Space:
Perverted Video(s)
Penis Ice Cream
Boners
Contact Emails of Shit and Condom Factories
Douchebag Tanning
Farting Privates
Fleas around dogs bum
Lindsay Lohan's Beaver
Stallion Screw*Cow (this one is particularly disturbing)
Sucking off college guys blogger (WTF?!??!?!?!??!???!)
Support group for women with kankles
There are floaters in my bowel movements

And several others that even make ME blush!

What I'm trying to say, is that as disgusting and over the top as I think I am, there are some truly disgusting people out there, visiting my blog.

Thank you to all my readers for putting up with my shit! And many more returns.

-Spazoid

P.S. - If any of you want to add me to your blogroll or mention me in any way, I will be eternally grateful and do whatever you want me to do for you! Except that.

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If you liked the above, you might also like:

Fiber is your friend?
Tickle me comic
Not the good kind of wet T-Shirt!
Situational Acceptability
To the Big Cities

Awards and Guesting.

First off, I'd like to thank Hungry Mother for giving me this award. Awesome! It totally wasn't deserved, because as well all know, I'm an ass.

I'd like to pass this award onto 10 others, as is the instructions the award has been given. These ten people have totally cool blogs and deserve it, because they are not asses.

Cyberpunk
Drowsey Monkey - I know she got this one already, but it wasn't from me!
I'm Down with That
Jay's World
Mental Poo
Random Thoughts - Yea Hungry, right back atcha!
Mimzie's Muzings
Tomato, Tomahto
Site Insights
Total Diatribe

I know Hungry awarded this award to some of those on my list too, but I don't know as many bloggers as he does and I wanted it to count. Sorry Hungry, I'm a biter.

Also, I sent in a love post to 1 Million Love Messages. It got published! You have to check out my snarky love post, number 551, posted on January 21st of this year, in case they update tomorrow.

Totally Awesome Awards!

You know how awesome you guys are? Do you really want to know? I screw off for a week and don't post a bloody thing and I come back and I have AWARDS! That's right, you've given me totally awesome awards even though I haven't entertained anyone for a week. Seriously, I don't deserve totally cool readers like you (no comments from the peanut gallery, yes, Mimzie, I'm looking in your direction, I can totally see the comments working in your head, this means you).

I'd first like to thank Drowsey Monkey. She gave me an award a while ago and I totally did not give her the kind of acknowledgement she deserves. Seriously, that was cool. I'm new to the blogging scene and to receive a break out blogger award for blogs that are new and going places and fast was quite the honour. So here it is, the award Drowsey Monkey gave me:

In hopes of giving Drowsey Monkey more readers from a better google rating, I will now repeat her name with a link many times in hopes that google (or other search engines) will give her a better rating. Ready? Here goes. Drowsey Monkey! Drowsey Monkey! Drowsey Monkey! Drowsey Monkey! Hope that helps! By the way, as far as sheer writing talent in my humble opinion of course, Drowsey Monkey is one of the best out there. Seriously, everybody, make her site a daily read like I do.

My next awarder is Stealth over at I'm Down With That. She is probably the only person I know that can close down one blog and open another (for reasons of her own) and not skip a beat in humour, style, flair, and number of readers. She can go from posts about girly girl shop fests, to fun with family or friends, and back to bust your gut funny. One of the ONLY bloggers that I know that can post up just a single funny pic or cartoon and just make it seamlessly blend with her previous post of another Bon Jovi stalk fest. This lady's blog is one of the bestest all around blogs.

The best part about Stealth is she actually likes my blog! To prove it she gave me the flowery girly and surprisingly pretty "You make me smile" award. She mentioned something about the award looking ridiculous on my site, perhaps thats a not so subtle hint to tone down the testosterone? Whatever, here is the cool and flowery You make me smile award bestowed upon me by Stealth.


Stealth, because of this excellent award, I'll do my utmost to try and turn google just a tad more friendly towards you. Ready? Stealth! Stealth! Stealth! Stealth! Stealth! Stealth! YAAAY Stealth!

Lastly but not leastly, I gotta give a big shout out to my buddy Cyberpunk at Cyberpunk's so called Life. This guy lives in the Philippines and has a much better command of the English language than I could ever hope to accomplish. Besides giving me a way cool taste of what life is like on the other side of the world, this guy is an accomplished writer. He has a flair for the dramatic and a flair for humour, and is able to blend to two seamlessly. Cyberpunk has awarded me with the Be The Blog award, for being witty, intelligent, and funny. Seriously, I don't deserve you guys (MIMZIE! Peanut gallery and all that such!). Here is the award he gave me!


Is that award just slick looking or what? And now, for the google party. Cyberpunk ROCKS! HOORAAA! Cyberpunk! Cyberpunk! Cyberpunk! YAAAA! Cyberpunk is the best blog coming out of the Orient, and EVERYBODY should ready Cyberpunk!

So, I'd like to thank my awarders very much! I'd also like thank everybody else that has ever complimented my blog, which is everybody. I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that my blog is kind of successful! Who'da thunk it!

So I'm back from Niagara Falls, I was on training. One of my instructors was a totally hot milf with excellent titties, but that's a story for another day.

Ta ta!