It's halloween again

Well, it's that time of year again. Halloween. The time of year when little undeserving turds march all over your front lawn, littering it with garbage, so you can reward them with chocolates. Ugh, kids. But yet again, if I leave my house dark the asshole parents of the entitled kids leave dookies on my windshield, so I'm obligated to feed their little shits candy.

On the other hand, maybe it isn't so bad. Ever seen a kid with a sugar high? Sweet justice!

You know, I've begun to notice something about today's kids. Something that's not quite as it used to be. The change was slow, so it was hard to notice. They certainly aren't the same as when I was a kid. I just can't place my finger on what it is.

Anyways, the first visitor to my house was a little girl, probably no more than 8 years old.. I just didn't have the heart to tell her that her ginormous boobs popped out of her dress.

Oh, and the next two looked like they were brother and sister. Those sumo suits are so lifelike! Their parents must have gone to terrible expense.
The next two kids must have just finished playing some after school organized sport, cuz they were still eating dinner. Poor, hungry things.

This little girl just couldn't wait to tuck into the treat she got from the last house!

And this little boy sure is going to be a heart breaker when he grows up!

This kid had the best costume of all. He came as a friggin SWIMMING POOL!
This little boy was a close second, as a helicopter though.

Although you have to give this kid points for creativity. He's a premature ejaculator - he just came in his pants!

Yea, most of the other kids looked very similar. I just can't put my finger on what's changed about kids nowadays! It's something big... really big.

Oh well.

Happy halloween, everybody!

I'll Say Some Shit

I don't have a clue what to write about. Nothing, nadda, zip, zero, zilch. So I'm just going to write the first thing that comes to mind.
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Ok so my brain is empty. Does that come as any surprise to any of you? But you know what I really don't like? I mean really, really really don't like?

Kids.

Those little turds go marching past my house and throwing their crap on my lawn. I don't want their crap. Fine, if they're done with their juice boxes, hold onto it and put it in one of the half dozen garbage cans littered throughout the school yards. You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to go down to the Allen's Apple Juice boxing factory and I'm going to fill EACH AND EVERY ONE of their apple juice boxes with my urine. You heard me. And you know where I'm going to get all the urine from? Durrrrr I'm going to drink the apple juice and TURN it into urine!

Also, every chocolate bar and chip wrapper i'm going to cover in glue. Not the regular kind of glue, the stuff that starts sticking when warmed up, like the heat of one of their over indulged fat little hands. No, I don't need to do that to things like apples and carrot sticks, because our pudgy prodgeny don't eat good things.

And for those teenagers that loiter RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EFFING DOORS to stores etc., I'm going to sneak up on the roof and hurl water balloons at them. But the baloons won't be filled with water, they'll be filled with the leftover urine I made from all the apple juice at the factory.

When I see a little douchebag thinking she's cool by wearing her pajama's in public, I'm going to put her in a sleeping bag and duct tape her up with a pillow strapped to her head.

When those disgusting little turds start having unprotected sex, making babies and young mothers who are a burden to society while the idiot fathers run for the hills, I'm going to remind them that the health unit gives out condoms for free. How? By going under bridges and along the trails, finding these turds and crazy gluing the condoms onto their hormone riddled penis's. Then, I'm going to take some of the leftover duct tape from pajama dumbass and strap the two of them together. Then I'll call their parents, the local clergy and their school newspaper and advise them where they are.

Then I'll hold the heads of school boards hostage until they actually allow the stupid kids to fail when they don't put any effort into their school work because they're too busy loitering and having unprotected sex. That's right, if you get a failing mark you'll ACTUALLY FAIL. And guess what else? The smart students who earn the awards will GET the awards. Yea, effort and smarts get the prize. You know why? BECAUSE LIFE ISN'T FUCKING FAIR. If school aren't fair, JUST LIKE LIFE, these little shitheads might actually be prepared for the real world instead of their dumbass little idealistic fairy worlds they think they'll graduate from where everything is OK and you get as many chances as you need and you'll graduate with a 60g a year job.

But what I'd really like to do is take these indulged little "me generation" turds and beat the adults who engineered this world with them.

Fucking liberals.

I hope I have internet access in jail.