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Monday, June 9, 2008

Spazoid's 150!

Yes, that's right folks! Spazoid has hit his 150th post. And like Spazoid's 100th post, he's going to share with you, his gentle readers, all the sick and twisted google searches that somehow brought people to this site.

That's right. There are people more twisted than Spazoid out there. There are people that actually find this pretty fucking tame. Let's see what the google stats brought in, shall we? Here are ten of the most interesting and peculiar searches from th
e absolute dregs of human society.

1. Can you grind up poop.

Answer: Yes you can. Although poop doesn't really grind, it kind of smushes. Don't ask.

2. Dirty bum after I wipe

Answer: Then wipe again. And again. And again. And...well you get the picture. Or maybe you don't, since you had to google it. It's not rocket science. This is something you should very easily understand... if it's still dirty, you need to keep cleaning. I fear for the human race.

3. Lohan's Beaver.

Looking for a few STD's, hmmm?

4. Pills that make ur shit smell like roses.

Look... I don't know how to break this to you. Shit smells like shit. That's why it's shit. And that's why toilets come with a flusher. If your shit smells worse than normal, get a deodorant sprayer, or maybe start eating human food or something. You know, get a little more fiber in your diet?

5. Space condoms; space penis; space woody; space poo

Buddy, i'm pretty sure condoms, penis's, woody's, and poo would be ALL THE SAME. What, do you think being in a space shuttle changes the properties of you? Maybe you're thinking the lack of gravity will give you a bigger penis, therefor you'd need a bigger condom for your bigger woody? It's just like your big poo.... bullshit.

6. Starbucks is shit.

Preach on brother, preach on!


7. Stuffed pee holes

Are you serious? Obviously, you've never passed
a stone. Otherwise, you'd understand that the pee hole is the most sacred of sacred out holes. In ten years, when I'm forty, I'll give up my ass virginity to make sure my prostate is OK. But NOTHING will EVER go up the pee hole, ever. And if you like that kind of shit, you sir, or madam, are a serious fucking weirdo. Even weirder than the guy who wanted to grind up his poo.

8. What is a faggot called in England?

I can't speak for the English, but i'm pretty sure it's '
faggot'.

9. What's a Spazoid.

I'm glad you asked! Have a look around my craptastic blog... you'll figure it out soon enough.

10. Vagina bags

I'm... stumped. So I googled it myself. What I found scared the crap out of me:
Maybe she keeps her bags up in that thing? Hell, she probably keeps a few matched sets of luggage up there! I know one thing that isn't going up there - penises. Really. Hell, if I stuck mine in there it would be followed by my hips, legs, body and head. Hey, at least I'd be warm for the winter!

Hey folks, thanks for reading my crappy blog. Hopefully, I'll be around for another 150 to keep my three readers entertained!

-Spazoid Out.

=========

If you liked the above, you might also like:

Spazoid's 100th Post
Disgusting Google Perverts
More disgusting Google Perverts

15 keen observations:

Jessica said...

Congrats on your 150th! Some funny stuff here! :D

moooooog35 said...

Hey...that's a nice beaver!

Nice...GINORMOUS beaver...

...but beaver is beaver.

billymac said...

congrats on the 150...

and, i think i know that chick from college, she was popular for some reason.

Tink said...

Congrats on your milestone!

Now I'm going to go poke my eyeballs out.

Mike said...

Jessica - thanks! Always good to have a fan.

mooooooog - I suspect all 5'2 of you could fit through there without ducking?

billymac - I knew her too. When every other chick was shooting ping pong balls, she was shooting basketballs!

tink - remember, you too could look like that without exercise... so make sure hoop is well looked after!

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

Happy 150th blog!

That picture... disturbing..

moooooog35 said...

Mike,

You're right...all 5'2 of me could fit there.

In fact, if you look closely, you'll see that the clitoris is waving.

That's me.

I packed a lunch. Made a day out of it.

Meghan said...

Happy 150th post. You're insane and I dig that.

Cinder-Single said...

Happy 150!!!!!

I am scared of her. lol If I dont use mine soon will it turn into a set of luggage? haha!!!

and ummmm if their ass is dirty after wiping, they need to ummm jump in teh shower!!! DUH!!!

Luv ya man!!
S

Iron Pugilist said...

"6. Starbucks is shit."

I concur.

"10. Vagina bags"

...I'd hit it.

AngryMan said...

I think that we all need pics of Lohan naked. Get to work on that.

GEMMERZZ said...

OMG. i've seen your comments on PDX Fashionista's blog before but, for some reason, never clicked to follow you.

is it so disgusting that i love that picture. AWESOME.

happy 150th!

Mike said...

mooooooooog - tuna fish?

meghan - and you have compromising pictures. I dig that too :P

single - you can have fun all by yourself, keep your female parts used and healthy, and stay a virgin, you know. I'm pretty sure it wouldnt' look like that not used, i'd think it would shrivel. Maybe, I dunno?

IP - I'd hit the un photoshopped version :P

angryman - lohan did a playboy shoot. I'm suprised you didn't see it. She doesn't look good naked, trust me.

gemmerzz - click around, I get even groser.

The Divine Miss M said...

Woah that was distressing! Why would you share???

Man, no one finds my blog via entertaining things like that :(

Congrats! May the next 150 be as entertaining!

Jo said...

Jesus, that's like the hefty-garden-sack of vagina bags. She could house a third-world family in there.

Yay, you made it to 150 without being institutionalized!