Things that shouldn't be

Many, if not every human being has a list of things that is a personal affront to them. Things that disgust them, things that just shouldn't be.

Today, I'd like to share with you my shortlist of things that shouldn't be.

1. Man boobies.
I'm not talking about the normal fat guy or the guy that's out of shape, I'm talking about full fledged man boobies. The giant sacks of fat that should only be bestowed upon women. I'm talking the true freaks of nature. And they exist. Perhaps its the hormones in beef, or maybe these guys are hermaphrodites. I don't know, but what I do know, is that man boobies shouldn't be.

2. The unibrow.It's eye brows, SSSSS, with a plural! If you only have one eyebrow, get that shit in the middle plucked. That's just disturbing. Unibrows just shouldn't be.

3. Weight Lifter Chicks.
Do these women honestly think that having bigger biceps than Mr. T is attractive? That having no boobies is hot? That being the one in the relationship to open the jars and kill the spiders makes the man happy? Women should look like women. Men should look like men. Frig, most MEN don't have the kind of muscle these weight lifter chicks have! I don't know about any of you, but when I'm feeling up a women I want to feel soft curves, not hard rippling muscles. In retrospect, these "ladies" aren't going to get beaten by abusive men, but come on. A tazer will do the same thing and is cheaper. Weight lifter chicks just shouldn't be.

4. Moose Knuckles.Everyone knows camel toe. Camel toe can sometimes be ugly, or attractive, depending on the woman. What we're talking about today is camel toes bigger sister, moose knuckle. There is absolutely NO redeeming feature about moose knuckle, which is why it just shouldn't be.

5. Front ass.

Asses are for the back. Seriously. If you start to grow an ass in the front, it's time to cut back baby. The good part? Because these things cover the reproductive organs, theres a good chance she won't physically be able to reproduce to make more little freaks with two asses.

Asses are for the back, not for the front, which is why front ass just shouldn't be.

6. Transvestites.

Men should be men, and women should be women. That's it, that's all. If you feel you're a woman trapped in a man's body, see a shrink, or get the surgery. Otherwise, just shut up and accept that your ding dong is whats been given to you, and work with it. If you still feel like a woman, then make sure you're the catcher, not the pitcher in your homosexual relationships.

Men are not women, and that's why transvestites just shouldn't be.

7. Chicks in tight jeans.
Yea, I know what you're thinking. "But Spazoid! Chicks in tight jeans are hot (providing they don't have a front ass). Even the picture you have is of a hot chick!" Yea, I know. They ARE hot! Well, they LOOK hot. A funny thing happens when women wear really tight jeans. Their cooch can't breathe. Yes, I've done the research. What happens is, all of the oxygen loving bacteria, that DO NOT smell, die. Once gone, all of the bacteria that don't need oxygen move into the space formerly occupied by the good bacteria. These bacteria STINK. If a girl is in the habit of wearing tighty tight jeans, and they come off, the smell is enough to make a dog faint.

While hot chicks in tight jeans are nice to look at, they smell worse than fermented poo, which is why it just shouldn't be.

I hope you've enjoyed my shouldn't be short list. Feel free to make your own.

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