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Thursday, May 1, 2008

Woody Carpet

I took the day off yesterday to help my old man move into a new office building. The old building was scheduled for demolition to make way for something newer, nicer, bigger, and even more useless.

The new office building, actually an old house, is only 90 years old as compared to the 150 year old building they came from. He's still with the same crew of lawyers, lawyers assistants, and secretaries.

What I'm trying to say is that as an accountant, he's the least scummy professional in the building. Not by much, but all the lawyers look to him for moral advice. And then do the opposite.

The first thing we did was lay down a carpet over the hardwood floor that my old man had purchased earlier in the week. Just as we finished laying the carpet, one of the lawyers assistants walked in, cleaner in one hand, rag in the other. This is the following conversation that took place.

Assistant: Oh! Your carpet doesn't cover all of your wood!
Old Man: Yea, I had it trimmed. Do you think it looks good?
Assistant: Oh, it looks great!
Assistant: And the wood looks really good too. It's in really great shape for being so old.
Old Man: Yea, if lay down some nice wood you have to keep it in good shape.
Assistant: Would you like me to polish the wood sticking out of the carpet?
Old Man: Yes, please. That would be great.

I was doing my very, very best not to laugh or snicker listening to this conversation. Does that make me a bad person?


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17 keen observations:

C.Rag said...

I can't believe you were able to lay carpet without laughing while you typed it.
Was it hairy carpet or nicely trimmed?

Jo said...

I need an assistant.

I'm impressed the lawyers even ask for moral advice :P

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

LOL that kind of happened to me yesterday when my Tennis teacher said, "Okay, we're going to stop stroking... Get the balls hard instead." I almost wanted to die laughing, but I held my composure.

Meghan said...

The real question is, are you good at laying carpet?


That's gonna keep me tittering all day long.

R.E.H. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
R.E.H. said...

I would NOT be able to keep from laughing listening in on that conversation... that's for sure.

Polish the wood sticking out of the carpet... HA! I gotta use that one as my next pick-up line ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh wow!! Yeah umm What does one say! I would have fallen out laughing.

Mike you are never wrong, okay? Laughter is good for the soul!!

Oh and ummm How good are you at carpet laying! oops I mean I am sure you did a good job at helping your dad lay the carpet!!!


billymac said...

yeah... that's a lot of double entendre, probably too much for me to handle in that situation... it sounds like something from austin powers.

Hungry Mother said...

Sounds like something Kevin Smith would write.

Jillian said...

I hope stuff like that never stops being funny to me.

moooooog35 said...

Did you lick the carpet?

At least tell me you didn't lick the wood.

Anonymous said...

You're going to hell. Don't worry, I'll save you a seat.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i love when i have wood in my carpet. but i dont really have carpet. so, nevermind.

Anonymous said...

Got Something for you to see over at my place.. COME ON OVA!!!! LOL!!

Anonymous said...

MISS YA!!! Where ya at? I am snooping I know, BUT I have to check on ya!

Knight said...

So you and your dad tag team the carpet? It gets done faster that way right?

I'm really annoyed that my reader doesn't update for your blog. I depend on that thing to tell me where to go and I never end up here. Damn!

Ginormous Boobs said...

It just makes you a me.