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Monday, January 7, 2008

Penis Library

Today at work, I was putting a document in an envelope to send it via interoffice mail. It's destination was the Paris Library. As I was just about to put it in the appropriate mail slot, my buddy Joe from I.T. showed up.

"Sending something eh?" he said. "Yup, sure am" I replied. Isn't the daily office grind communication great? Anyone who works in an office knows how automated the responses can get. We are just moist robots after all. Today w
as going to be a bit different however, as Joe said, "Hey! I didn't know we had one of those!" and pointed to where I had written the destination on the envelope.

"One of what?" I said, curious as I was positive he knew where the Paris Library was. I had met him there once. "A PENIS Library!" he chuckled.

I was confused. I was sure I had written "Paris" on the envelope. I looked closer, and there it was. I hadn't lifted the pen between the 'r' and the 'i' in t
he word Paris, making it look like the word "Penis".

We both had a laugh, and I corrected the spelling. God forbid a stuffy librarian saw that. I'm positive she would assume that I was trying to sexually molest her. Knowing them, they'd call the police and insist on going to the hospital and getting a rape kit done on them, because that's what they do in CSI on TV, right?

That got me thinking though, what would a Penis library be like?

Would the books be of any great LENGTH?

Would there be a WIDE selection?


Hey, would the HEAD librarian look like this guy?

In the Penis Library, would they even carry books, or would it just be models of penises of various colours and sizes. For example, if you were looking for a small penis, would you go to the children's section? If you wanted a penis bigger than 8", would you go to the fiction section?

Would you really really want to borrow something like a penis from a penis library anyways? I would imagine that before borrowing a penis, you'd want to see a certificate of disinfection dated the morning of, right?


I'd imagine that the architecture of the building of a penis library would have columns that look something like this:

And what about refreshments? If there was a cafeteria there, would they only serve phallus looking foods, like this penis pannini?

Or this penis Ice cream? Is it just me, or does she look she's never had a penis ice cream before? And do you really think she's going to share with her daughter?

Would there be an adult section of the penis library, or would that pretty much be redundant?

I know one thing for sure, you'd have to be a real dick to work there!

8 keen observations:

Hungry Mother said...

Anyways, I know I'd be listed under "A" for average.

DrowseyMonkey said...

I'm glad you're secure in your manhood...otherwise this would be an even weirder post than it is. LOL

You know...there's some cult in Montreal that has a large penis that they pray around, or something. I saw it on CBC one time...no I wasn't thinking of joining.

moooooog35 said...

I hear in Ohio they have a Scrotum Library.

..oh..wait...

SCRANTON.

Nevermind.

Mimzie said...

I have found my calling! A librarian in a penis library!! I would be SO good at it!

clairec23 said...

lol you are so wierd...

I really wish I could say I was a librarian right now. Maybe you could found the first penis library?

Mike said...

Hungry - TMI buddy!

Drowsey - Sorry, I was in a weird mood that day

Moooooog - but do scrotums work there?

Mimzie - I heard you had an affection for the penis somewhere

Claire - I not a few cards short of a deck, but I got a couple of extra jokers. Sorry, but the penis library is not my forte. I got one of my own, and that's all I'll ever need! A penis that is, not a penis library

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