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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

plumbERbutt(tm)

Are you a new plumber? Just finishing your apprenticeship, and striking out on your own? If you are, you're probably wondering what it takes to be a sucessful plumber. Training, expertise, hard work, experience? The answer to all of those is yes, of course you need them. But there's one thing that plumbers are known for, one thing that defines a plumber and gives the public the perception he's good.

That one thing is plumbers butt.

To be perceived a
s a real plumber, you need ass cleavage sticking out of the back of your jeans. Without a plumbers butt, you are likely to be passed over job after job, no matter how good you really are.

Before you go gorging your face with jelly doughnuts, red meat and beer, I strongly urge you to consider the fabulous new product, plumbERbutt(tm). PlumbERbutt(tm) is a revolutionary prostetic that you apply to your backside that ensures that all important plumber butt cleavage. This product is available in many skin tones to match your own, and it's so real looking you'd have to be a scientist to tell the difference!

But don't take my word for it, just hear what some of our satisfied customers have to say!


Before plumbERbutt(tm), I was never called back for repeat business. With plumbERbutt(tm), I've built up a base of loyal customers who intentionally break their plumbing to get me back!

-Joe Magiola
New York








Digging the pencils out of my plumbERbutt(tm) is well worth the 300% increase in business!

-Dwayne Chetely
Ohio





Not only did business pick up to the tune of a 240% increase last year alone, my wife has NEVER found me so attractive! Thank you plumbERbutt(tm)!


-James Bichoni
Rhode Island



Don't be left behind! Order plumbERbutt(tm) today, and get a second one for 50%! Order now!

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18 keen observations:

moooooog35 said...

Brought to you by the makers of:

"The Janitor Spanish Voicebox," "Traffic-ticket Cleavage Creator," and the ever popular "Fast-Food Server Acne Mask."

Cinder-Single said...

Mike, I have heard it all!!! Right here at your blog...

LOL!!! Ummmm I support this because you support this..but, I seen enough of this at a family picnic this weekend! haha!!

Tell them to please take it off when they come to my house to repair things.... I don't know if I can handle off of that LOVE!!! haha!!

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

Where do I purchase a butt cleavage? I'd like to have me one of d'oes fer when I plumb sinks. The ladies like dem butt cleavage, you know?

Hungry Mother said...

Is there a handy slot for a pipe wrench?

Jessica said...

Omg...why is that so true! :) I'm sorry, when you fix my sink...I don't want to see your nasty butt. Why are so many people subjected to this? LOL

Mike said...

moooooog - if you ever leave your job, I have a special place for you at my company of "completely useless shit idiots buy". Our biggest market is wal*mart.

Cinder - i'm very lucky as my family has minimal ass cleavage

fashionista - For someone who buys 700 dollar shoes, it comes as a total shock that you want to look like a slob!

hungry - we call that model the "bubba"

jessica - read the plumbers union contract. I'm pretty sure it's in there.

Mike said...

moooooog - if you ever leave your job, I have a special place for you at my company of "completely useless shit idiots buy". Our biggest market is wal*mart.

Cinder - i'm very lucky as my family has minimal ass cleavage

fashionista - For someone who buys 700 dollar shoes, it comes as a total shock that you want to look like a slob!

hungry - we call that model the "bubba"

jessica - read the plumbers union contract. I'm pretty sure it's in there.

Meghan said...

I can't say no to that crack!

Lakota said...

you know i loves me some man ass but not buttcracks peeking out from saggyassed pants. just ewww.
i saw this just the other week. Driving down the road, some guy was sitting on the grass in a yard, his crack bared for all the world to see. Not a visually stimulating sight at all. ~gah~

Mimzie Beaumont said...

Do I get a special gift if I call within the next 30 minutes? Or will you just double my offer?

Knight said...

Is this an implant or some sort of rubber suctioned attachment? Do they come with the sweat bead in the crack function? I'm going for authenticity here.

Cinder-Single said...

oh my goodness, fashionista is a Shoe WHORE??? I LOVE HER!!!! SO SO MUCH! I must get to her page before the day is over!!!!!

I LOVE YOU FASHIONISTA!!!

Jillian said...

Wow... I've been lucky so far. All the plumbers I've called wore those work jumpsuits. Whew! I had an ass free experience! Not that I don't like ass... Ass can be a good thing.

Jo said...

I'm fascinated by that first photo, it just goes on forever before you get to the crack...it's like his butt has a realllllly big forehead.

Do these butts come in hairy? Because it would just be weird if the Sasquatch who breaks our pipes had a peachy bottom.

C.Rag said...

I want a hot chick with a tight ass as my plumber.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

did that last guy wipe his plumber's crack with his shirt?

pass on all of those viletastic peices of shit

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

Mike, slobs and ass cracks are the latest trend, don't you know? lol

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

cinder-single - I love you too?