Can I see your Burgina?

When I was a youngster, sometime in the 20's, the school boards decided to introduce sex ed.

Ok, so It was introduced before me and I had it in 1990 when I was in grade 6 but still, It was a long time ago.

Anyways, people were a little more.... tight back then. And the sex education class wasn't as nearly as evolved as it is today. As such, the class was short, to the point, and left all the kids more confused than when they went in. Below is the teachings of that class.

MEN HAVE A PEANUTS AND WOMAN HAVE A BURGINA.

That's important information, because I'm about to tell you about my first sexual encounter.

You see, I was in grade seven, and was dating a girl named T. I was dating her by proxy; she wanted my friend G but G wanted nothing to do with her. So I said "How about me?" and we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Dating was so much simpler back then.

We were both very young. She didn't even have boobs yet. Hell, none of the girls had boobs yet, unlike nowadays when you can go to Wal*Mart and purchase special training bra's for toddlers. Yes, it's ridiculous. There's a school three houses down from me and from the distance I mistook the grade eight graduation for a parade of strippers. Nuff said.

Anyways, T and I were alone, in a house, no parents around. We were fooling around and I asked if I could see her burgina. She dropped her pants. Huh, interesting. She asked if she could see my peanuts. So I dropped my pants. Huh, interesting. She then asked if she could touch my peanuts.

Folks, I'm sure you all know that peanuts, as in the nut, come in a shell and you all know what you have to do to get them out.

The loving fondle I was looking for was more like a SMASH!

And the resulting lawsuit had the school revise it's policy on sex ed to be way less stuffy.

My pain is your children's gain.

Your welcome.

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