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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A day in the life of an Atheist

Not too long ago, a friend and I closed up shop on a website dedicated to interfaith sharing and understanding. The thrust of the project was to allow people of divergent cultures, religions and viewpoints to come together and share their experiences, their knowledges, and learn about each other. In so doing, it was our hope to foster peace and understanding among the different peoples.

To that end, it had some success. Unfortunately, there were a group of people who had no interest in respect, peace, or understanding.

That group of people came soley from the abrahamic religions.

During that year, I gained a tremendous amount of respect for faiths such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Paganism, Wicca, Shamanism, and the such. Christianity and Judaism were left sorely wanting in my experience.

I'm not going to say that every and all of these people I came across in my search was a complete fuckshit. That's not true at all. I did meet some truly inspiring people from the Jewish and Christian communities that should be commended for their mature, tolerant and understanding attitudes. But by and far, most of these people I met were small, insecure, hateful, and complete hypocrites.

Case in point, according to one Zionist (a jew who believes in complete and total Jewish sovereignty of Israel) told me that I was propagating the next holocaust simply by preaching tolerance and peace between the different faiths. Imagine that!

Without a lick of proof or reason, many of the Abrahamic faith look only inwards for information about the world around them, instead of simply looking at the world around them! A Christian knows everything there is to know about a person who practices wicca, or a person who is an atheist, by what their own religion and faith teaches them about these faiths and nothing else. If their faith tells them that you are wearing a blue shall when in fact it is red, your shall is blue! So sayeth the lord!

According to deep seated fundamentalist Christianity, Wiccans pray to their devil, as does anyone else who doesn't prescribe to their faith for that matter. It does not matter that Wicca is a celebration of nature, that the Christian devil to them is as real as the Christian god; those evil people worship the devil and look to destroy us god fearing Christians! Burn them!

To some fundamentalist Christians especially, atheism is almost as evil as Wicca. By proxy us atheists believe in the devil that is a Christian creation, when in actuality we believe in none of their stories!

My atheism is classified as weak atheism, the most prevalent kind of atheism. To wit the belief is simply non belief. There is no proof of the credibility of any single one religion or religions. No one living today has seen or spoken to any god, and there is no holy book that can be verified in any way. The number of religions and sects of religions is enormous. When the only reason to believe in something particular is for the most part the region of the world you were born into, who is to say that religion is any absolute truth? There is no empirical or tangible evidence for belief and yet the beliefs are not falsifiable by design, so there is no logical reason to believe.

It's very simple. Should good evidence come forth for the credibility of any one belief, a good working hypothosis is conceived and an actual theory is constructed with good, reproducible, verifiable and sound scientific data and experimentation, then the atheist community would give it credibility and scrutiny.

Simply put, people of the monotheistic faith do not even have any arguments that cannot be used of anyone with differentiating monotheistic beliefs. When most arguments work for all, why believe any particular one?

The point of this ramble it thus: Since fundamentalist abrahamic religions know everything there is to know about everything else that isn't them, and if it isn't them it's EVIL!! Here is what I think one of these people "knows" what a day in the life of this atheist is.

03:00 - sit up in bed, spin head around and mutter satanic verses while furniture flies about the room.
06:45 - wake up, kick dog in balls
07:00 - walk out the door with no thought to personal hygiene. Wade through layers of garbage, as atheists are always bad neighbors
07:15 - poop on the front stoop of the local church
07:45 - promise to help old ladies cross the street, than run away laughing, leaving them stranded in the middle of the street
08:15 - burn bibles (or korans, or torahs)
09:00 - walk into 7/11, punch attendant in face, steal smokes and burritos
09:15 - go to nearest church, step over poo, stuff cigarette butts and burrito wrappers into donation box
10:00 - show up to work 1.5 hours late. Sign in on time
10:30-13:00 - take lunch
13:00 - 14:50 - take break. Drink bottle of whiskey
14:51 - rape good christian receptionist
14:52 - threaten good christian receptionist with death if she ever tells
16:00 - leave work, sign out as having left on time
16:30 - go to McDonalds, hop counter, eat burgers, head butt good christian boy working behind counter, piss in the fry machine
17:00 - get together with atheist buddies and drink
18:00 - burn down church: set up minister to take fall
19:00 - beat up old lady and steal purse
20:00 - break into old ladies home and beat up her husband
23:00 - draw pentagram on floor and sacrifice good christian baby to devil. Set up same minister you set up before for fall.
01:00 - fall asleep with carcass of baby in mouth.

I'd like make note on morals. Christians in particular lay claim to the good morals of todays secular society as coming from the basics of Christian morals. While they are similar (except for the fearing some invisible sky fairy part), there is no basis in Christianity, just because of similarities. Things like don't murder, don't steal, don't commit adultery are GOOD IDEAS for societal morals. Such things are thought of by the proponents of society. They are similarities only.

One final thought on morals. What group do you think is most likely to have the best moral fibres? Do you think it would be group A or group B?

Group A - believe that eternal salvation and happiness await for them after they die if they only repent, even if it's on their deathbed.

Group B - believe that the life they are living in the only life they have, and who wants to spend that entire life in a jail cell?

Chaw on that, fundies!


If you liked the above, you may also like:

The Holy Goat
Jewish Atheist Asshole
Disappointment and Opinion
Those Homosexuals
Happy Easter!

17 keen observations:

Anonymous said...

MIKE!!! haha! Honey you are off the hook!! I actually read this one!!

You are cruel to the old lady! leaving her in the middle of the street!!!



Miss Milk said...

... I agree with almost everything you said. Does that make me an atheist?

I don't think so, because just as there's no firm proof for any religion, there's also none against.

And for whatever reason, I like being identified as a Catholic, in a similar way that I like the city I live in or my surname. The culture is a part of me even if I know it's probably bollocks.

I think the Abrahamic xenophobes you talk about are definitely in the minority. You just hear from those particular ones a disproportionate amount because, as extremists, they're the ones who care enough to say anything. I wouldn't knock all people of abrahamic religions , or even a large portion, just because of them. Maybe it was only those religions that were intolerant because they have more of a history of perceived superiority - the Jews being the chosen ones, and the Catholics ruling Italy and all that. Plus they're in the majority in English speaking countries (aren't they?) so that lends support to their beliefs.

And I mean, to decide to be Wiccan or Pagan (there can't be many who were born into those religions, are there?) and then knock everyone else's beliefs would be hypocritical, and the other religions you mentioned are more spriritual than ritual and are therefore more likely to be tolerant of other people's ways of expressing their spirituality.

And I guess atheists are associated with the devil because they've turned away from God and therefore all that is good, or that's what I was always taught and just accepted until fairly recently. I don't know why it never occured to me that you can strive to be a good person to soothe your own conscience, and not just for a ticket to the afterlife or to please some supreme being.


For someone who was trying to defend her religion-by-birth, I think I just failed.

Hungry Mother said...

Good discussion. One of my old friends told my wife that she had learned that the animals on the Ark took a hiatus from eating each other until they got off after the flood. I made no comment, but I was wondering why an educated educator such as her could be thinking about things like that. I guess it's no worse than me speculating about why Ben does certain things on "Lost." Her fantasies are just different.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had known about your other website. I would have loved to have visited it.

Mike said...

cinder - I find it interesting that out of all that, the old lady bothered you more than burning down churches and killing babies :P

Her Milkiness - in that little rant I mentioned that religion isn't falsifiable. By your own logic, I will now tell you that invisible purple unicorns fly out of your ass and that's where farts come from. Prove it isn't true.

Also, the abrahamic xenophobes are definately in the minority, but have an incredibly loud voice. As you know, those that whine the loudest cause the most trouble and sometimes even get what they want. The fact that they want everyone who isn't them either THEM or DEAD makes them incredibly dangerous.

Paganism is older than christianity and judaism by lots. Just because they've taken the back burner to aggressive and dangerous religions doesn't mean they aren't still around ;) Plenty of people are born into it. However, few people that weren't indoctrinated or easily convinced by pressure decides to become a christian, jew or muslim. Indoctrination is a requirement for blind faith, and that is why the abrahamic religions are so very aggressive even with their own.

Milk - stay open minded as you are. It's a very attractive trait.

Mike said...

Hungry - traits of the heavily indoctrinated include a short circuit.

This short circuit zaps them past reason when any thought about their religion that's negative comes about.

If there is any question on anything, the heavily indoctrinated will come up with excuses and reasons that have ONLY the outcome of the story being true and them being right.

Short circuit - ZZZAP!

Mimzie - Yea, it was a pretty interesting 9 months, but I don't think I want to get into a project like that again.

Slick said...

You, my friend, need to repent today!!

You are sick AND evil!

Me and you are gonna be good friends lol

Jessica said...

I like your thoughts. I agree with them, but I'm not as passionate about it as you are!

I wish that people would get along, and accept others for who they are, and what they believe.

My experience with people deeply involved in organized religion is, like your list(LOL) , they have no really idea about what others believe, but they really think they do. And, they don't really want to know.

I'm not religious, I am least trying to be.Through meditation, and reflection.

Anyway, a lot of my family members are practicing Jews. My parents, divorced when I was 5, but my mother converted to Judaism for my dad...she is still practicing.
I promise...I'm getting to the point. :)
So, one day I was talking to a pretty radical Christian about it, and she proceeds to tell me how sorry she is for my mother. I was really taken aback, but I said don't be because she is really happy.

It bothered me so much. The world would be so much better if people would look at, and disect their own issues, instead of concentrating on how to "save" everyone else.

So about the ramble. :D

moooooog35 said...

There is only one, true God:

Jambi, from Pee Wee's Playhouse.

Mekka-lekka hi mekka hiney ho.

'Nuf said.

Knight said...

moooooog35 is my new hero!

What were you born into Spazoid? I'm just curious. I was raised Catholic and looking back on the experience is laughable. There are ways to benefit from a church community I'm sure and I'm happy for people that find happiness for themselves but everyone needs to take a minute, look around at the world, and really examine what is happening. Passing judgment, converting people to believe what you believe, killing in the name of Allah or God or Jambi. It's all pretty stupid and pointless. If I feel like falling asleep with a dead baby carcass in my mouth it's not hurting you. Let me be.

Mike said...

Slick - you bring the goat, I'll bring the pentagram

Jessica - people are inherently selfish, she should be happy your mother is happy, you'd think, but no.

moooog: did you hear peewee herman died? Yea, of a MASSIVE STROKE!!!! HA!

Knight: I'm humanoid! Sorta. I was born Jewish, but if I could take my foreskin back I would. Well, I mean I'm glad it's not there but you get my drift.

I don't like being labeled as anything other than human, you know?

sweets said...

good post but i don't comment on religion... so there LOL

you are one funny guy, really enjoyed it ;)

C.Rag said...

Bible thumpers really piss me off.
That's why I use the pages as toilet paper.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

too bad you dont live here, the MN atheists are having a picnic this weekend.

you could probably bring some babies to grill. it would be WIN!

Anonymous said...

khello kristen if ur reading this..... i know u are as u proclaim ur self as 007... baby!! if god was there then he would not let blasphemy like u exist on the face of the earth..... lol..u say god told u that u were "hot" ..are u sure it wasnt that old pooping lady from mike bro's post at cinders blog ??

TanNinety said...

The one thing worse than a fundamentalist theist is an ignorant atheist. I've encountered enough of both camps and they were all as annoying as those purple unicorn farts!

Knight said...

I know what you mean when you say you are humanoid. The reason I tend to ask what religion people were born into is because it often explains something about the culture they were raised with. It's just an interesting bit of information. I also asked because you left the "Two Jews shark tours." comment on my blog. That was hilarious.