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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I'll die like I want to... gauranteed!

It's amazing the things that make people happy. There are lots of things that make me happy, but the knowledge that even in death my humour will continue makes me ecstatic.

See, a friend of mine works at a funeral home. He's very intimate with corpses. Umm, not that kind of intimate. Actually, in retrospect....that's not something I want to think about. Let's say that he knows much about corpses.

And corpses fart.

Yes, corpses fart. Even after death, the biological processes that make farts still continue and the corpse could expel gasses from their bung holes even hours after death, and it sounds!

Not only that, but our bowels release too!

I can poo after I'm dead!

So, in 40 or 50 years when my time is drawing near, I'm going to make damned sure that I give up the ghost in such a way that the coroners have to pick me up and my dead poo will fall all over them. Then I'll fart on them.


8 keen observations:

Drowsey Monkey said...

Oh for pity sake, LOL.

What's with this fascination men seem to have? LOL!!

Hungry Mother said...

Is that word, "gaurenteed" an onomatopoeia?

moooooog35 said...

If that's the case, then I want to be shown at my "viewing" with my finger in a pull-able pose.

Knight said...

I wonder how long the bowel releasing continues. Could you be shitting your pants at your own funeral?

Mike said...

Drowsey - bodily functions are funny. One day you'll realize.

Hungry - why not?

moooooog - if i'm still around, I'll make sure.

Knight - if I'm lucky, i'll get buried in the woods to make a meal for the coyotes.

Tink said...

Kay, that's just more than I wanted to know. :P

Jessica said...

LOL-OMG @ Drowsey--ditto! :)

Anonymous said...


you,poo and farts... lol