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Monday, October 6, 2008

An Education for our young Aussie.

I'd like to introduce you to one of the bloggers I regularly visit, Ms. Milk. Milk is a 17 year old girl living in Australia. Unlike many of the teenagers of today, she's intelligent, thoughtful, talented, moral and ethical. She writes well, cares about herself and her studies, and is generally a benefit to society, so far (she's yet to prove herself by meaningful employment or tax paying or voting or contributing to high insurance rates by crashing up her car).

However, she's also just 17. Which means as adults, it'
s our job to impart the knowledge we've gained over the years to the younger members of society. Even if they are not our children. Or in our families. Or our acquaintances. Or we are never actually likely ever to meet them. And especially if they don't want to listen to us old farts talk.

But she's going to listen to me. Or read me.

Today, she's getting some educational correction on some of the misconceptions living in Australia has given her. I'm going to do it in the stylings of the most famous person ever to come out of Australia, too.
That's not a bear!

This is a bear!

That's not a winter!

This is a winter!

That's not a barbie!

This is a barbie!

That's not a beer!

This is a beer!

That's not spreadable food!

This is spreadable food!
Miss Milk
, I hope you've taken this lesson in life with the best of intentions I can give you. And please don't burst my spleen with your hormonal teenage psychic mojo. I only have one.

10 keen observations:

Anonymous said...

Mike! You are so mean! lol
Leave her alone I know she is gonna get you when she comes here! And I cannot wait to read her! lol


Miss Milk said...

Ha! Try and educate me? You have it all wrong. First of all, I'm pretty sure we've produced a few people more famous than Paul bloody Hogan. Cate Blanchett, Nicole Kidman, Olivia Newton-John (yes, "that woman in the movie Grease"), Hugh Jackman, Eric Bana, Heath Ledger, and they're just actors - have I made my point yet?

Secondly, I'm not entirely sure why you have to keep picking on our bear. If we see our bear sleeping in the tree next to us, we get all excited. If it comes down from the tree we might even get to pat it. If one of your bears comes down from the tree? You'd be running. I wonder which situation I'd rather be in.

If we want to talk about "real" animals, why don't we compare our spiders and snakes to yours, hmm?

Secondly, that picture? Aussie winter? What? What's that white stuff? Confusion confusion. Pretty sure the last time it snowed somewhere other than a mountain (or Tasmania, maybe) was... well, certainly before my time! And I'm perfectly happy for it to stay that way. Winter = a light frost in the morning, maybe some mist, and that's a pretty big deal. Fine by me.

Looks like your Barbie could afford to meet my barbie. She looks ill.

Also. Nobody drinks Fosters. Fosters is bad beer, I'm told. Everybody drinks VB... which is also bad beer. But it's cheap bad beer, so nobody minds too much (except for Ben, but he's a beer snob).

And I'm sorry but I'm not a Vegemite fan, so though I feel obliged to stick up for it... I think it tastes awful. But so does peanut butter. Also: Peanut butter and "jelly" (it's bloody jam!)? WHAT?! HOW?! WHY?! Yuck.

I'm pretty tempted to match your blatant stereotyping by pointing out that Canadians are cold, cold people who live on a cold, snowy cold place with mooses and bears that will eat you. And maple leaves they seem to like. But are otherwise pretty much just an extension of America.

But I'm not going to, because I'd hate to seem ignorant. :)

Knight said...

Miss Milk is right. You are just an extension of America. North America. Just like Mexico. So put on your bloody sombrero,aye?

moooooog35 said...

Under "spreadable food" I would have shown the Barbie picture again.

I need help.

Knight said...

If you want some other things to pick on, I was told the following:
Mackers = McDonald's
Bush = Outback
Togs/ Budgy Smugglers = Swimsuit
Chewy = Gum

Mike said...

Ne: Yes, yes I am.

Milk: That was exactly the reaction I was hoping for. You're fun to tease ;)

Knight - Actually, I'm an extension of Canada, eh? Hoser!

Mooooog - I don't think anyone can help you, my friend.

Technodoll said...

You forgot the igloos! Mike!

Hungry Mother said...

No doubt Vegemite is evil. It's the worst memory of my trip to Australia.

One of the main ways people come to my website is though "naked barbie."

Miss Milk said...

Yeah, I know. It's fun to bite. :)

(Not Macker's! Macca's!)

Slick said...

You sir, should be a teacher.

No shit....