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Friday, August 8, 2008

Things I don't get.

The older I get, the less I know. Well, that's not true. I know more, a lot more. Of course, with adulthhood comes the shedding of the thick veil of egotism and ignorance that is childhood.

What I'm saying is I know more, but I also know just how much I don't know.

And there's a lot of things I just don't get.

Like feminazis. I don't understand how a woman can get rabid over 'equal rights', when what they really mean is women are more equal than men.

And bodily functions. I don't understand how anyone could NOT find a giant ass burner funny during Sunday service!

Speaking of the religious, what's with all the hatred? I mean, apparently god is a god of love, yet a southern baptist church thinks it's GOOD that someone got decapitated in my Country earlier this week. God's loving punishment for a Country full of heathens. WTF?

As most of my reader(s) are over the age of twenty-five, I'm sure they all remember being kids and actually respecting adults. I don't get it nowadays. It's not the kids foul language, disrespect, arrogance and extreme entitlement I don't get. It's the adults allowing and cultivating it. What the fuck happened?

And when the hell does a nail clipper transform into a weapon of mass destruction once it's transported onto an airplane? Come on guys, McGuyver wasn't actually real.

Hunters confuse me. Apparently they think that shooting an animal from 100 yards away with a high powered rifle is a manly thing. Actually, Grizzly hunting with a pen knife would make you a man. Playing real life Call of Duty with a completely defenseless animal makes you a coward, when you don't actually need to do it to survive. It's called a day job and a grocery store people, you have both.

During this holiday weekend, a family was stranded on the side of the road when police impounded the family minivan. The father was doing 160 km/h when he was pulled over, 60 km/h over the speed limit. The Ontario government made a HUGE deal of the new law that passed this JANUARY of the zero tolerance policy towards speeders exceeding the limit by 50 km/h. I'm confused by two things:
1. Do people think the government is joking?
2. Why the hell would you recklessly endanger not only everybody else, but your CHILDREN?

And why the hell does ANYBODY think Jerry Seinfeld is funny? Why is it called ovalteen it should be called roundtine HAHAHAH FUCKING HA! Everybody knows it was Kramer, Elaine and George that carried the show.

Why have we let big business become bigger than our government? We're raping the consumer of any scrap of common sense they had left, subjecting entire continents to abject poverty and running the planet into a barren waste dump all for a fucking arbitrary monetary unit of barter.
We are serious retards.

Why do chicks always go for complete douchebags that treat them like crap? It's almost like women enjoy being mentally, verbally and sometimes physically abused.

Also, why is what's yours hers and what's hers hers? Why does the courts almost always favour her when it's completely obvious he'll have to work two jobs for a crappy bachelor apartment and an '89 Civic that sometimes runs while she drives to the jewelry store in her new Lexus and the kids STILL need a bigger pair of jeans and a haircut?

How come managers are always the least qualified person in the office?

Ok, my 7 minute lunch break is over.

/End rant.

8 keen observations:

Jessica said...

Having a bad day?
I'm with you on all of these points, but come on Jerry Seinfeld IS funny!

That last one is has really been irking me recently. They're not qualified, but think they are better than everyone else employed underneath them. least that's what it's like in my case.

Nice rant! :)

The Divine Miss M said...


Good rant.

I'm with you on the whole kid and lack of respect thing. I'm in England and the kids are HORRID! I don't get it! Honestly. Was having a mini rant about it the other day at home.


In fact I think I pretty agree with you on all of your points! Though I find just about anything funny at a Sunday Service, including the service itself.

And no woman don't enjoy the abusement factor - but very often enough you think you can make the guy nicer and by the time you realise you can't you're in too deep. We often like wankers because we want them to want us and they don't so we stick around trying to get them to want us.

Eh, we're weird creatures.

But on the same slant why do men always go for the gorgeous and stupid/bitchy girl over the warm, friendly lovely girl who isn't as hot?

Anonymous said...

Mike, If I talked back to my mom or dad I would be eating through a straw! They don't play that at all!

Only when I go in my room and tell them off I get away!

I think I really fell Inlove with you during this rant!! lol Seinfeld is stupid as hell and all of his characters on there also!!

Will you marry me??? I wont take anything, I will even sign a prenup!


Miss Milk said...

I might not be old enough to remember when kids respect their elders, but that doesn't mean I think it's right that they don't any longer.

I wanted to slap some sense into a ratbag kid who came into my work today. His (bogan) mother spoke to him in a sugary voice, bought him and his siblings all the lollies they wanted, and as they were leaving the stinking kid decided it would be fun to repeatedly slam himself into her.

She carried on as if he wasn't doing anything.


Mike said...

jessica - funny enough, I was having a good day. Fancy that.

Miss M - good point. Perhaps we think with our dicks too much?

Ne - only if at the wedding I dress up as a wookie and you as wonder woman.

Milk - like I said, it's the parents not the kids. Kids need discipline and direction and parents are treating them like adults. What a bunch of weenies we are.

Miss Milk said...

No adult would put up with another adult repeatedly and deliberately bashing into them. If they're going to be treated like adults, then they should be treated like adults - exactly like adults.

She should have decked the kid.

C.Rag said...

Man! You need a beer & a blow job.
After that punch someone in the face. It makes everything better.

Anonymous said...

Seinfeld sucks!!!! I worship you!!!