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Friday, July 18, 2008

She's beautiful, and she's mine.

The moment I first laid eyes on her, I knew I wanted her.

She was beautiful, she was clean, and she had all the features and traits I was looking for.

Though she has a solid and athletic build, her curves and bumps are all in the right places, lending to an air of femininity.

From front to back, she is tough yet elegant, rugged yet graceful, simple and complex all at the same time.

And let me tell you boys, she has a GREAT set of headlights!

I was nervous. A tremendous beauty such as this did not go unnoticed by other men. I was not the only one after her, but in the end I won. My perseverance prevailed, and I was the man that got to call her mine.

I can't wait to ride her day and night!



What should I name her?

24 keen observations:

billymac said...

How about "pickup truck bitch"... that sounds kinda catchy.

Tink said...

How about "Apple"? For she's the APPLE of your eye. Eh? Yeah, I know it's cheesy. ;)

moooooog35 said...

I'd name her "J Lo" - since you can put a lot of junk in the trunk.

Miss Milk said...

I'd call it Motor Vehicle, but that's just me.

If that thing's a girl, it looks like a dyke.

Mike said...

Billy mac - the word bitch is so common now a days it's a cop out. Sorry dood!

Tink: Theres a good suggestion, and it kind of ties in with Gwenyth Paltrow and I would SO do her!

Mooooooooog: Dood, that was the funniest thing I've heard from you in weeks, and you're funny. I think we may have a winner.

Milk: Your homework assignment for this week is to find out why vehicles are generally referred to in the feminine.

Ne said...

HAHA! I am not knowing what to put down.. I have a Camry called Lexi! lol

Ne is available tho...

Shover Robot said...

Cool Very Nice!

Not good at picking names.

Drowsey Monkey said...

I was gonna come up with something, but I couldn't do better than Mooog. Such a guy answer ... LOL but still made me laugh.

Miss Milk said...

I figure it's so that you don't feel queer when you're obsessed with them. :)

C.Rag said...

When we got a puppy, my Little Brother wanted to name her "Dirty Little Slut" so when he would call her in the backyard he could yell "Come her Dirty Little Slut" to freak out the neighbors.

Or you could name her Cunt or Cuntie after me, because I kick ass.

Technodoll said...

Oooo she's a purdy one... I vote for J Lo, it's a good one :-D

Hope she gives you hours of pleasure and good gas mileage... you'll have fun filling her up, I'm sure!! he he

Meghan said...

J-Lo.Think Moog is onto something. But hope she isn't as high maintenence as the real one though.

Slick said...

I named mine Lucille...

"What a fine time to leave me Lucille" I said when she wouldn't crank at work one day.

If not Lucille....

Go with Mooog's answer

Mike said...

Ne: If you had your way the world would be named Ne ;)

Shover: Thanks man!

drowsey: Yea, moogs is the very best ;)

Milk: You're not even trying. Also, you might understand one day. And if you don't, just pretend. It's better that way ;)

Cuntie: I dunno. Cunties you, I think you should keep it to yourself.

Technodoll: I filled her up from empty today, cost me 76 bucks. Yay!

meghan: NOTHING is as high maintenance as THAT thing.

Slick: I think I agree.

Miss Milk said...

I'm right, though.

Picture this:

"He's beautiful, and he's mine."

Feel comfortable saying that?

Mike said...

Miss Milk:

You're still not trying.

Do some more research or I'll have to give you a D-. It's not an F because your answer, while wrong, was still humorous ;)

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

Is that... a FORD?

Knight said...

You could call her Mike Rider. But that would make more sense if she road you.
Looks like you need to go with J-Lo. She may be a whore but at least she has status!

The Divine Miss M said...

The exhaust pipe is not a toy. Nor is it an entrance.

Just remember that mantra.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

makes me want to lube up the seats with some armorall and sliiiiide on in...

Mimzie Beaumont said...

I bet all of the girls are chasing you now!

TanNinety said...

How about Fordicator?

Miss Milk said...

"Why vehicles are generally referred to in the feminine."
By Miss Milk.

In order to draw an accurate conclusion as to why vehicles are generally referred to in the feminine, it is important to look at a number of factors - from the social and historical context of the use of this particular pronoun, to the alternative and, some might say, more logical pronouns that have escaped common usage in referring to vehicles.

Using the feminine to refer to a vehicle or other object was probably popularised around the time of the first ships. Long distance travel by water meant that sailors would talk of being "married to the sea", and, therefore, to their boat. Nearly every civilisation in history has been patriarchal to the point of misogynism, and the society from which modern English evolved was no exception. Those extended the opportunity of working on ships were invariably male. (Though you might come across the odd lesbian pirate. Arr.) Despite being inanimate and lifeless, seamen relied so heavily on their ships that they grew to place their trust in and respect them, and hence personify it.

In personifying a ship, it may have felt disrespectful to refer to it as "it", and to speak of "loving" or being "married to" an "it" seems as sick as bestiality. This left two options: he or she? "He" is knocked out for the same reasons as "it", though replacing bestiality with homosexuality. The feminine was the only logical way to refer to an object so revered by men, created many 'useful' metaphors and parallels between objects and women. This custom has pervaded society to this very day.

Ultimately, the use of the feminine is nothing more than an attempt by men to validate and justify their attraction to inanimate objects, especially those of transport.

Miss Milk said...

Do I get my damn A or what?