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Monday, July 21, 2008

The BOOB obsession

The fabulous Ms. M recently had a post in which she summed up the female form nicely; as a tease. You see, she blatantly talked about how she was feeling somewhat flirty and wore an outfit to work which, well, how did she put it? Oh yes, an outfit that let her boobs hang out.

She then never posted a picture, even at request. Several requests.

She told me that her boobs felt flattered that I liked them so much. You see, that's impossible because I've never seen them. I told her they may feel flattered, but it's not necessarily her boobs I like, it's boobs in general. Although I'm sure her boobs are very nice, I just don't know for sure.

Yes, men love boobs. Straight men like them bec
ause, well, they're boobs. They're part of the female anatomy that's considered as a sex object, and part of the body that needs to be covered up. Perhaps that's why we like boobs so much, because we're not allowed to see MOST of them out of the clothing on a day to day basis.

But ladies, just because it's a boob does not mean it's attractive. That's right, not all boobs are attractive to men. Only certain boobs are. Let's compare the good and the bad, shall we?

The big boob.

Just because a boob is big, doesn't mean it's attractive. I mean, big boobs are attractive, but only when they're big and shapely, such as so:

Sometimes, when boobs come from chubby (or just plain porky pork) they just don't do it. Take these boobs to excess, for example. It just isn't attractive, is it?
The normal/smallish boob.

I like these boobs the best. They fit nicely in my hand, they tend to have excellent shape, they defy gravity for a long, long time (the above category falls victim to gravity way too easily) and they give more options for being shown off, such as so:

However, when they don't have the shapeliness, they just aren't as fun. Compare these to the above, to see what I mean:


When cleavage is done just right, it is absolutely titillating, such as so:

But when bad boobies get worse clothing options, the effect looks like plumbers crack, such as so. Just gross.


Lets face it, skin is an important part of beauty in the
boobies as it is anywhere else. When the boob skin is smooth, rosy, and soft, it just begs for play. Observe:

When it looks like the surface of the moon, your rover just doesn't want to land there, does it?


And of course, real boobs:

Are much nicer than fake boobs.

I hope we've all learned something here. My comments section is open for questions and learning lessons.

-Spazoid the boob freak.

24 keen observations:

Anonymous said...

Mr. Proper!

I am putting mine up! so that you can tell me if mine are fine or not! I trust your opinion,seeing that you have a PHD in this and all!


Miss Milk said...

Funnily enough, I was reading an article a couple of days ago about a man who claimed that he loved his girlfriend and she was his best friend - except she has small breasts, and every time he met a woman with large breasts he carried on like a single man.

Apparently the attraction to breasts has more to do with the fact that we're breastfed as children than you might think, and in some cases an obsessive desire for breasts is a result of overcompensating for not having been breastfed.

I'm sorry, but I can't understand the attraction. At all. Especially after reading that article.

Oedipus complex. Ewwwww.

Miss P said...

I like boobs. Boobs are great. In all different shapes and sizes. I feel that we should all put up pictures of our boobs and give you a day of entertainment :-) Hey most of us are anonymous on here. So if we do this, then you still wont see our faces, but you will have an idea of us based on our boobs. I can live with that...

Mike said...

Ne - Heterosexual men have the PHD. Tastes vary ;)

Milk: So, what you're saying is, you like boobs too? You must. Females get breast fed too.

We should get together sometime and discuss cleavage. What do you say?

miss P: I humbly accept your offer.

MidniteGem said...

LOL - brilliant !! I think boobs rock and chicks should def learn to loves theirs big or small...I even have mine as my profile pic on my blog !!! ;)

The Divine Miss M said...

@miss p - Done and done ;)

@mike - I have answered your pleas little one ...

Miss P said...

Mike darling... Check out my blog :-)

Knight said...

Wow, everybody is posting boob pics now. Thanks Mike! Since I'm not anon I won't be doing that. I did post a boob story about my grandma yesterday. That should count for something.

MidniteGem said...

LOL - funny stuff!! you really have started something here...

p.s. I'm not anon I just dont care I mean its not like they are full topless pics :P

Miss P said...

This is hilarious. Boobs going up everywhere!

The Divine Miss M said...


Meghan said...

I've shown you mine already, so I think it's time for you to show me yours.

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Oh my God! This is hilarious!! now have woman posting pics of their boobs all over the place! Bloody hell! Your plan worked Mister!
Naughty you!!

Mike said...

midnit - if you got em, flaunt em ;)

miss m - after that, I ain't so little anymore :P

miss P - if there is a god, he blessed you with some SERIOUS assets ;)

Knight - it's ok. Although I'm not sure I want to think about granny boobs?

meghan - ok, let me find my hedge trimmers first.

blogshell - this is an unanticipated bonus!

C.Rag said...

I love playing with mine. Slapping them. Groping them. Nipple biting.

I love my twins.

Lakota said...

LMAO!!!! Oh Mikey baby - i needed a good laugh. Yup, you iz a boob man. No doubt about it. The picture of those gihugant ones hanging past the knees though is gonna traumatize me!

ooooh - just read the comments... so you want me to post mine again, huh? Okay - i can do that when i get home to my personal computer. Shall i surprise you or did you have a request? ~laughing Lakota~

Diesel said...

I could totally wrap myself in the boobs of that 2nd chick and take a nice nap.

Miss Milk said...

The Oedipus complex reverses for women - every girl is supposedly a little in love with their father.

Which is also ew.

But not as ew as wanting breasts to compensate for not getting your mother's.

I regret to inform you that I won't be joining in your boob party. You've seen them in dresses, that will have to do.

Mike said...

kota, whatever you do is ok by me ;)

diesel - nice, eh?

miss milk - I was breast fed as a child. Your article is interesting but as hypotheses go, it's just that: a hypothosis. Good try though.

Also, my boobie party was not actually my idea, although I didn't mind it.

Also, you did look very nice in those dresses ;)

Iron Pugilist said...

I'm more of an ass person myself, but I do appreciate some titties on my face.

OMG! Ne's showing her boobies to you?! Fuck man, as if I wasn't envious enough about Lakota doing that for you in the past.

Anonymous said...

I feel like the girl in the orange car. Those things are always up around my neck!

Technodoll said...

Ah yes, boobs... better to have them than act like one, right?

I like them spelled backwards, too... sboob.

Jessica said...

At least your honest! :)

billymac said...

jebus man... you're my new fucking hero...