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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Kids Fashion: What the hell?

I recently went to a local college to write a test for my water operations license. Even though it's been less than a decade since I left college, all of the kids looked so young. It's amazing the aging and maturing that occurs in only a decades time. Truly, we are a very dynamic species.

The other thing I noticed was what the kids were wearing. I don't know if it's just me, but aren't we getting more and more fashion retarded or what?

Lets start with the eye wear. You think the 80's trend for aviator glasses was bad? Think again. Kids are wearing sunglasses that are so large as to make Bobo the fucking clown think twice about putting it on. Seriously. You don't even look good with those glasses. It completely covers your face and makes the prettiest nose look puggy and piggy. What's up with that?

And why the hell are you wearing your PAJAMA'S around outside? When did sleepwear become practical day wear? When did seventeen year olds start wanting to look like toddlers? All you'd need to complete the look is a pacifier and a huggies bulge.

I really hate when kids wear pants hung somewhere around their genitals with their underwear pulled up somewhere around their nipples. I guess these guys have never been pansed, because that fashion would NEVER make it to the streets. I guess it's all supply and demand too, because no respectable manufacturer would make crotches on pants that hang that low. Who wants to walk around looking like they shat themselves for a week straight? Teenagers, I guess.

Kids, PUT YOUR FUCKING HAT ON STRAIGHT. Ok? Baseball caps are designed so that the bill of the cap keeps the sun out of your eyes. How's it going to do that if it's pulled off to the side at some weird angle? Every time I'm cut off by a shitty old Honda Civic and I see that stupid little ass wearing that cap crooked, up and to the side I want to catch up with him, pull him out of his car and beat him until he ruins his "tough guy" image by bawling incessantly for his mommy.

One thing that irks me is the latest trend of look homogenization. All the girls look like the other girls, and all the boys look like the other boys. Walking into a high school or college is like walking into a family renunion, albeit an inbred one. I walk out of the place CONVINCED that some poor woman birthed 132 children all at the same time.

Want to hear something really funny? All of the goth kids. Yea. They swear up and down that they're different, that they don't go with the trends, that they are original and unique. Sure, you WOULD be unique if you DIDN'T LOOK LIKE EVERY OTHER GOTH KID IN THE FUCKING WORLD!

Kids, change out of your pajamas, pull your pants up, wear some glasses that fit your face and original clothing. Please. You might even start earning some respect you DEMAND to have, until you break yet another promise or tell yet another lie.

-Spazoid, the always has been jeans and t-shirt guy.

15 keen observations:

Anonymous said...

Mike, I see it all the time, I feel like going to class in my lounging pants sometimes, but I just can't and won't!! The wanna be lil gansta's when they come out in the Jeans that go past their butts!! but ole well we can train our kids the right way!! Right?


Jay Cam said...

calm down bro!!

first of all, pajamas are comfortable. they don't hide boners real well, but besides that they are pretty decent.

pants low is ALSO comfortable! i'm sure if you tried it you would turn gangsta too!!!

: )

Hungry Mother said...

Every time I see a kid dressed like that, I hope that his pants fall down as he's climbing stairs or just walking.

Why don't the young girls wear their panties or bras low?

Bella Crystal said...

Pajamas,hmmm!There is an idea for me.Wearing them,I want have to get dressed nor undressed at all.

And they are so comfy too,and I can get them to mix and max and they'll go so well with my crocs and comfy scarves. I've got one scarf, which my favorite girl-friend has named "Dr.Suess scarf" it almost goes all the way down to my feet, and has lots of brightly colored stripes and I can swing it and as I swing in my dance it swings ,too ,lol.Thanks Mike for the fashion hint.

Mike said...

Single - Stay classy. It'll do you good!

Jay - You're a shat pants wearing bitch eh? I forgive you because you have a good blog. Don't tell me that you wear your hat funny and cut people off in your beat up old Honda Civic, because you might just regret it ;)

Hungry - I remember a trend for a very short time a very long time ago in opaque shirts in the young ladies.... too bad it didn't last.

Bella - Comfort and fashion are very different things!

Jillian said...

LOL... grrr. I hate the hat thing, too. It's fuckin stupid.

I didn't like teenagers when I was one and I especially don't like them now. Now they smart off AND look like idiots doing it.

And stores like "Hot Topic" cater to the "Goth", that's why they all look the same. Ha! Of course I admit shopping there for the Anime shirts.

jAMiE said...

Gotta love a guy in jeans and tshirts...especially when they fit!

Mike said...

Jillian - Just from those statements, I can tell you are a good person :P

Jamie - Clothing that fits should be one of the top things when choosing clothes.

Kids don't think like that!

just me said...

pj's are the national college uniform.

It's stupid. And smelly.

billymac said...

mike, dude, you are officially getting old now that you are complaining about the "kids today"... welcome to the club :)

I suppose the kids today look about as retarded to us as we did to our parents... it's a lovely tardo-fashion cycle that goes on for eternity.

Jay Cam said...

actually i run over cars in my hummer... especially pt cruisers and buggies!

Drowsey Monkey said...

"It's amazing the aging and maturing that occurs in only a decades time."

You do know that "aging" and "maturing" are 2 different things right? LOL

Listen Mike...You'll know you're old when the fashion you wore as a teenager is back in style again! Like those big glasses!! Back in my day...the bigger the glasses the cooler. It went with the big hair! And big shoulder pads! LOL

But I agree with the hat thing...they need to start wearing those right.

moooooog35 said...

I, too, have also always been a jeans and t-shirt guy.

Does this mean I have to change now?

On a side note, every time I see a kid's underwear sticking out of their jeans (boys...I don't mind seeing girls underwear popping out), I have a desire to impale them with a teriyaki skewer.


Now I want Chinese food.

Mike said...

Just me - I wouldn't know about the smelly part, but I don't envy you. I remember my college dorm to be smelly enough.

Wookie-Mac - Yea, I know I'm old. I just left my 20's, I'm a home owner, and I no longer want to pimp out my rides. Also, I think pimped out rides are retarded.

Jay - Hummer? What you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your own business!

Drowsey - You are VERY right about the aging and maturing thing. My apologies.

Moog - I have never wanted chinese food after seeing these retarded kids. Congratulations, you are officially weirder than me!

Jay Cam said...

when is your next post?!