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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Condom Nation

The United States government was in an uproar. The nations largest condom supplier had a huge meltdown of their biggest factory. The breakdown was so severe that it would be weeks, if not months, before the factory could be ramped up to full production again.

Fearing a whole host of unwanted and unplanned births taxing the nations welfare and charity systems to breaking, a shaken President of the United States called the nearest industrialized first world country, Canada, for help.

The Canadian Prime Minister was more than happy to help their nearest and closest ally in their time of need. He promised the President that he would have the Canadian condom factories ramp up production and start shipping in two days time. With all luck, the timing would be such that the American condom market would never know the hit to their supplies.

The Prime Minister hung up the telephone and arranged for an emergency meeting with all of Canada's condom manufacturers. Once the heads of the companies were all seated around a table in Parliament Hill, the explained the situation and the importance of meeting production.

All of the manufacturers agreed to get started immediately. The Prime Minister made one last stipulation. "Gentlemen" he said with a grin, "Every single condom to be shipped to the states, shall be ten inches long, five inches wide, and labeled as Canadian size small".

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The above story is not true, but is based on a true story. The actual story involved Bill Clinton and some personal lubricant, but that's all I'm authorized to say.

American ladies, there is one thing I want you to know. When you convert from Imperial measurements to Metric measurements, the number increases dramatically. My doors are open to any interested American woman.

13 keen observations:

billymac said...

sooooo... are you saying that if I move to Canada... my schlonger will get bigger? Or do I have to become a citizen?

Mike said...

I'm sorry Billy.

You have to have been born into the Metric system.

It's kind of like, you're not Italian unless you're born in Italy, you know?

Feel free to send over any females who want me to show them how it works!

Jay Cam said...

lol haha you must be really desperate if you had to tell that story to get ladies!

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

ah... thanks for the laugh!

Karen said...

Funny. I will reverse the countries and share it with my friends. :)

Tequila Mockingbird said...

are you telling us you have a huge cock? post pix. but do it classy, like with some sequins on your dick or maybe some lace covering your balls.

Single In The City said...

OKAY!! Thanks for sharing this, I am on my way to the Canada to live so when I am married I will be happy in love and in the sack!LOL!! J/k (am I?)

Mike said...

Jay - Just the American Ladies. I want to see what all the hype is about!

Karen - Nice. Make sure you don't tell it that way to a Canadian, he won't believe you!

tequila - I'll post my dick dressed up like Mickey if you post your cooch dressed up like Minnie, K?

Single - If the taxes here in Canada weren't so DAMNED high, I'd say go for it!

Single In The City said...

Mike you have to get a chat box so I can leave you love letters! LOOL!!!

Jillian said...

LOL... A huge dick is great, but you forgot we also like money, lots of it.

clairec23 said...

lmao you have no shame ;)

moooooog35 said...

I've converted to the metric system but still have a tiny dick.

Any ideas what I can do with Roman numerals?

Hungry Mother said...

I'm still stuck on Canada being a First World country. I knew there were some cottage beaver pelt cottage industries there, but not the other classification. I also thought you had a President like the rest of the civilized world. What was that about condoms?

jAMiE said...

Grrrrrrrr...as a proud Canadian i'm wondering what did we do?