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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The new in: Mustachioed

Guess what is in again! You'll never guess. MUSTACHES! Yes, the plain old stash, soup strainer, molester mustache, the lip fuzz, that's back into style again. Wow. Us men are going to look so incredibly good, like this fellow:
But why stop there? If we're going to bring in some fashion mistakes of the past, lets do it all up! Why not bring back the trailer park favorite, the mullet?Ladies, don't you just want to tear this guys pants off and make dozens of toothless idiot babies with him?

Hey! I know! How about the crew cut. Nothing says I'm a dickhead with a huge case of little man's syndrome like the crew cut. Take this guy for example:



Look at that head lowered stare. "Look at me baby, I know you're not good enough for me but I'll do you anyways." Yea, I can't wait to see this one around. But you know what I really think should be brought back? PERMS! Yes, that's right, load your hair with so many chemicals your head is indistinguishable from a sheep. Like this lady:
Baaaa! Baaaaa! Yea, tres sexy. How many hours a day does she spend pulling out burrs?

Finally, I think they should bring back in big hair, like this macho dood:
How many birds do you figure he has nesting in his head? How does that stick like body support the weight of his hair without flopping over? Yes, I bet this guy gets all the ladies with the hairstyle that screams "I'm too cheap to get my haircut!".

But you know, I guess the new mustache craze isn't so bad. We all know that history repeats itself, and when the Ward Cleaver fashion comes back into style, I'm heading for the hills.

14 keen observations:

Hungry Mother said...

Only an old guy like me remembers mustaches being called "cookie dusters."

Mimzie said...

Wow! That last guy made me a little horny!

tanninety said...

Mustaches are AWESOME, especially when dowsed in gasoline and lit on fire.

lol @ "cookie dusters" and "soup strainers"

In some cultures it's a sign of manliness. I personally let my mustache and beard grow very faintly for that mysterious look of "will he stalk me if I look at him".

Mike said...

My old man used to have a mustache. He shaved it off just before I was born cuz by then it was out of style.

Mimzie, I know what you mean. Now, if that was a girl and the hair was between the legs, just SIGN ME RIGHT UP!

Tan, I could see you as a little stalkerish ;)

tanninety said...

Mike, the theory of if no body is around in the forest then the falling tree doesn't make a sound says that you are not a stalker until they find you beating off in the bushes.
>_<

Mike said...

Thank you Tan.

I will never look behind bushes again. ;)

tanninety said...

Talking about bush reminds me of this joke:

A husband and a wife have a fight and are giving each other the silent treatment. The husband goes out to clear out the yard but cant find the rake. Seeing his wife come out he motions to her about it asking it's whereabouts. The wife points to her eye then yanks her left boob out and points at her ass and then her crotch. The husband furious yells, "what the hell was that?" to which the wife replies -
"EYE LEFT TIT BEHIND BUSH".

Yup, I need to keep my day job.

DrowseyMonkey said...

LOL @ mimzie....

I luv the stash...and a beard. Hey, I grew up in the 70s when men were hairy damn it.

Stealth said...

Boooooo to the mustache! Who wants to make out with lips that stab you? Men, would you want to kiss a furry-face? Neither do we. So shave it.

Cyberpunk said...

i don't like facial hair on men (and women, just to be clear)...

I miss the days of poison, GNR, and other hair bands...

Greg said...

wow, I currently have a mustache and crewcut. I have had a perm and of course a mullet.... what does that say about me? Maybe I should book some time with my therapist or is it time for a makeover?

billymac said...

But if you have a mustache, then you can yell "who wants a mustache ride!!??"... which is always a classy way to pick up chicks. (10 points for identifying the movie reference in the quotes above).

Mike said...

Greg, I think after you make it to a certain age, you've earned the right to look any which way you want. If I make it to 60 I'm growing a santa beard willy nelson ponies.

Stealth - It's even worse when the women have it!

Cyber - I don't miss the hair bands AT ALL!!

Billy - No clue, but I do have a "gasket".

billymac said...

the movie was "Supertroopers"...