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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Testicular Stem Cells

Like always happens with new scientific discoveries, several countries around the world have been able to pull stem cell like cells from male mice testicles. These cells have been shown to be able to form heart tissues, nerves, etc.

If this works for humans, there are no reasons why testing can't be done right away, as nobody is actually being hurt (if you call having a needle inserted through your scrotum into your testicle benign).

This also takes the ethical controversy away from using human fetus's as a source for stem cells, allowing fertility clinics to continue to throw away the unneeded fetus's they started after one finally takes in the mother, instead of putting them to good use saving lives.

If this really does work, can you imagine the possibilities? Mr. Smith has a heart attack, so they take some testicle tissue and grow him a new heart!

I'm wondering, let's say somebody lost part of their head, like a nose, and a new one was grown from testicle tissue, would it still be insulting to call this guy a dick head?

I'm also wondering what a conversation with a patient is going to be like.

Doctor: We have some bad news. You've had a massive heart attack and will most certainly die unless.....
Patient: UNLESS WHAT?!?!?!
Doctor: (Holds up sharp scalpel) we cut off part of one of your balls and grow a new heart for you. It'll be just like the old one and you won't need dangerous anti-rejection drugs
Patient: Do gravestones still come in granite?

Women can benefit from this too. In the same manner as checking for bone marrow matches, all you'd have to do is find a genetic match in a male and he could donate his ball cells to grow her new parts. This could open up a whole new possibility for the black market too. I can just imagine testicle juice smugglers.

Smuggler:(holds up a vial of somewhat opaque creamy liquid) This is ball juice from a basketball star lawyer with a doctorate in rocket science. Grow ANYTHING from this and it'll make you just as smart and handsome as him. That'll be $5,000 please.

If this becomes viable, if you think men are fat and lazy now, just wait until you can grow replacement organs. When that happens, trans fats, sugar, beer and tobacco smoke will become the new four food groups for men. What do we care, when we ruin one organ another can be grown for us?


2 keen observations:

wanderer/wonderer said...

...they can grow new tissues, sure. can they grow an entire organ? this i've not heard of. and these testicular stem cells are completely undifferentiated?

yours truly,
... !

Mike said...

Hey, it's AHHHHHHHH!

Apparently, if it can grow new tissues of differant types, than there is the possibility of a whole organ.

Have they been able to reproduce one yet? I don't know.

Will they? I bet they will. Only time will tell, though.