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Monday, November 5, 2007

Really, it's OK to fart.

Does anybody remember the show In Living Color? They did an episode where they spoofed a product called flatusense. This product went up your bum and changed the horrible fart odour into something more palatable, like new car smell or laundry breeze.

Little did I know that someone would actually come up with a product. Introducing, UnderEZ by Under Tec! This is underwear with a replaceable odour eliminating cartridge of wool and activated carbon.

Put these babies on and fart with impunity! No more will that volatile odour embarrass you at parties, social functions, and workplace meetings.

The whole website and product is centered around the odour as the single source of embarrasment. The underwear corrects only that problem.

Excuse me, but don't farts make sounds too? I guess it turns from embarrassing to funny only if there's no smell. Hey Mr. President, thanks for inviting me to lunch! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRT! Smell anything? No? HAHAHAHAHAH! Funny eh?

The other funny part is these things look like a giant diaper. So you don't stink anymore, but you still sound like a walking whoopee cushion and have the crinkling sound of a giant diaper to boot?

Here is an idea. Instead of wearing special underwear, how about eating some beano or gasx? Maybe try holding it in? How about changing your diet so it doesn't include broccoli with refried beans? Hey, if it's that much of a problem, try seeing a doctor?

I wonder if it protects against sharting for those extra lazy people? Or maybe a pee pad up front for those really, really lazy people?

90% of the world is starving and we're worried about smelly farts? Nice!

12 keen observations:

Hungry Mother said...

I would think a silencer for a 45 caliber pistol would do the job, if shoved up one's ass carefully.

Mike said...

Good point. Lets pack it full of activated carbon and one up these jerks at ass tec. We'll make millions!

What do you say?

Anonymous said...

First of all, the sound of a fart, no matter how gross, always makes me laugh.

Secondly, my farts smell like roses so this really doesn't pertain to me.

Mike said...

Mimzie, are you part of the beautiful peoples club? The one that gives you pills to make your shits smell like freshly baked cinnamon buns?

billymac said...

farts rule, I say let 'em loose, rip one off during a meeting to loosen things up, or try to float one during sunday mass.

Mimzie, roses covered in shit?

DrowseyMonkey said...

You're doing a post on this, I'm doing one on toilets...not so great minds think alike, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Farts are OK so long as there is good enough ventilation around you. I deliver appliances (among other things) for a living and it isn't cool when you're in the back of a 26' box truck prepping an appliance to take it in a house and the guy you're with rips one smelly enough to gag a maggot.

Mike said...

I hear you Sean. Think about a small utility van, up front, when the guy driving lets go a sulfurous rotten egger!

Cyberpunk said...

they can make one with a xmas theme...make farts smell like chestnuts roasting on an open fire...and to hide the noise, include one of those chips (like in the xmas cards) to make the undie play Jingle Bells...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

holy fucktits. vile.

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