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Thursday, September 18, 2008

My Clean Penis

Etiquette dictates that you wash your hands after using the urinal.

However, please follow this logic:

  1. You shower in the morning and clean everything, including your junk.
  2. Your junk is covered for most of the day
  3. Your hands are not, they are touching everything
  4. Therefore, your junk is cleaner than your hands
  5. So when you use the urinal, as long as you don't pee on your hands
  6. Your hands don't get any dirtier than they are
  7. and in fact may come out cleaner as your junk is clean and protected
  8. Therefore washing your hands is not actually required.

Logical, yes?

15 keen observations:

Jessica said...

You make a good argument--I guess!
I needed a laugh today, thanks. :)

moooooog35 said...

You're right.

Why wash your already dirty hands while a perfectly good sink is available to you...

...when you can just simply walk out of the men's room getting said dirt and germs on the door handles - on the odd chance that a tiny microscopic bit of piss (yours or reflective pee from the urinal) didn't land on them as well?


Dude. Seriously.

If I see you walking straight out of the men's room without putting so much as a drop of water on those f*ckers, I'm calling you out in front of everyone.

From then on, you shall be known as "Pee Pee Mike."

So it shall be written. So it shall be done.

Thanks be to Rod.

Blogget Jones said...

Oh wow....I can't argue with that. Good logic.

Of course, though, even covered junk starts to smell funky after awhile....

;o) BJ

she seems nice... said...

OOhh...all this talk of junk and penis's has got me all....needing to pee!!. perhaps I'll even wash my hands after. ;)

billymac said...

works for me!

Anonymous said...

MIKE: I need to know what really goes on inside your head! I mean really??? LOL!!

I laughed from just reading your title! hahaha Ummmm hey wash your hands anyway.. They do get a lot of sweat down there right?? OMGOSH I cannot believe I even asked that question! Mike you are really rubbing off on me! hahaha


Mike said...

jessica - you wouldn't be the first girl to laugh at that topic ;)

mooooog - and the rest of the office would call you the "pee pee leprechaun!"

BJ- yes, but usually it's womans junk :P

she seems nice - good plan!

wookiemac - see, I knew you'd understand

ne - washing, rubbing, sweating... you do have a dirty mind don't you.

Hungry Mother said...

That's why I always wash my hands before I pee.

Knight said...

I'm thinking you should wash your hands before. It it is a warm day in your pants or if you have a rash you should wash before and after. Just sayin.
At my company we have people that handle newspapers all day long. Their hands get covered in ink. Only one guy washes his hands before he takes a piss. The rest make fun of him. I think of him as the one guy that wouldn't leave ink stains on me if I needed a quickie. Is this TMI?

Technodoll said...

Except smegma doesn't grow under fingernails.

AngryGinger said...

My junk is freaky huge for still being in the womb.

C.Rag said...

I know when CockMaster want a blowjob. He goes to the bathroom & when he comes he says, "All clean!"

The Divine Miss M said...

Damn. You really do make a good point there.



My head is going to explode!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

usually my dick is sparkling clean, but i keep rubbing it on mexican prostitutes, so then i gotta scrub it with steel wool and pine sol. it hurts like shit, but goddamn is it squeaky clean afterwards!

Qelqoth said...

I plan to lay ruin to these rules by wiping my hands over everything at the rest room. But then, I'm anti-social like that.

However, I'm printing this off and I'll be showing it to the missus. After this, she'll have no fucking excuse to avoid fellatio.