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Monday, October 1, 2007

Small Town Boners

http://www.urbandictionary.com/ describes "boner" as the following:

1. a stupid mistake
2. dunce like move, such as spelling "I" wrong
Suzy: Oh jeez, I just made a boner.

Part of where I work is in a small town, and the population is not known for their intelligence. They are, however, known for their facial hair. ALL of them, if you catch my drift!
Anyways, I work for the local water utility, and on my rounds this afternoon, I noticed a few boners.

Boner #1
I was on my way to the pavilion out behind the local arena, to take a water sample. Looking at the men's room door, I noticed some kids had written the word "RULE!" under the word "Men's". Naturally I went and looked at the woman's room door.
Under the word "Woman's", these kids had written "Drool" as I obviously thought they would. Except they didn't spell it D R O O L, they spelled it D R U L E.
Do I have to point out the irony of the situation here?

Boner #2
After seeing Boner #1, I walked into the arena. As I walked by the managers office, I heard him say "Mike, when you have a second do you have a minute?"
Do I have to point out the irony of the statement here?

Boner #3
The town I work in is building a brand new library. I was one of the first people in it before it is opening as we have to hammer out water supply issues. This library is BIG. It has beatifull giant windows all around, awesome ceramic flooring in one area, hardwood in another, high end faucets and fixtures, solid oak furniture, plush comfy chairs, etc. etc. It's a really, really nice library, and no expense was spared. The place has meeting rooms, adult sections, children sections, teen sections, the works.
The catch? The town only has 900 people and probably 4 of them read.
Uhhhh duhhhhh! Do I have to point out the irony at the taxpayers expense?

Boner #4
I saw this kid walking down the street with big hair. I'm talking BIG. Corkscrew curls afro styles, this kid's head looked like bozo the clown except the colour was brown. I'm talkin SO big, there were about a dozen sparrows circling his head looking to make a nest.
I know the kids like big nowadays, but really, there are limits.

If anybody reads this, mind contributing a few boner stories of your own?

2 keen observations:

Anonymous said...

Was it bigger than my hair?

Signed,

Your Sister

Mike said...

It made your hair look small and straight.

And that's no lie.